If Everyone Would Be This Honest....

Shalom Yishai!

thank you for some of ur comments about making aliyah...

I'm struggling right now with the fact that I had originally wanted to make aliyah this month... I however, accepted a "good job" that will allow me to save some extra money, yet there in is a trap, saving money in the USA is like trying to collect water with a stainer! expenses always mount and "needs" are always pressing... I am sensing my galut/exile more and more... I do not feel at home even though I struggle to "be at home" - I work for a yeshiva here in chicago... a good paycheck.

I am struggling with not with my desire to make aliyah yet with the timing and functionality of my aliyah. Everyone has said "make sure you have a job when u go to Israel" yet when I went to Israel for the 1st time in 2004 I went with no expectations and no agenda, $900 in my pocket... I stayed three months, and got a job in Tel Aviv, where I actually made more money there then i would have in the USA... SO WHY AM I STILL IN USA/Galut? because I allow my passions for what i'm familiar with to override my concern for what Hashem has for me!

chas v'Shalom... I should use this job to save some mony and get the H*ll out of here... it means breaking up with a girl who may (or may not) be a good shidduch for me, it means leaving my mother (aging, nearly 75), it means leaving a child here in the USA (divorce situation), it means going beyond what is "commonly thought of as common sense" - emunah...

thanks for letting me vent! I have an open TIK, I have paperwork to complete might take me a month or two... who knows perhaps Hashem has put me in this situation so I can fight a little harder...
am chai Yisrael!

Hey, this year would be better than next year, yet next year might be more realistic than right now! whichever it is bezraht Hashem "not by might, nor by power, yet by His Spirit..."

todah! chaver,
yehonatan